When the inner critic gets loud (and what I say back)
There’s this voice that shows up sometimes when I’m working.
Designing something new.
Getting ready to speak in a meeting.
Writing a piece like this.
It’s not always loud, but it’s sharp.
And it sounds like:
“You’re not saying anything new.”
“They already know this.”
“You’re not qualified to lead this.”
“This isn’t good enough yet — wait.”
You know the voice I’m talking about.
That inner critic. The inner gremlin. The nope monster.
Whatever you call it — we all have one.
🧠 Why It Shows Up (Even for People Who Know What They’re Doing)
Here’s the thing: it’s not because you’re unqualified. Or unprepared.
It’s because you’re doing something that matters.
The inner critic isn’t just annoying — it’s trying to protect you.
From being judged. From being vulnerable. From messing it up.
It’s just... not very creative in how it tries to keep you safe.
I’ve worked with brilliant learning designers, coaches, facilitators, and business owners who still hear it every day.
That voice doesn’t go away. But you can change how you respond to it.
💬 What I say back (in my own head or in my journal)
When the voice gets loud, I pause.
I take a breath.
And I say something like (filtered version):
“Hi. I see you. I know you're trying to help. But I’ve got this.”
“It’s okay for this to be a little messy while it’s becoming something real.”
“We’re allowed to take up space here.”
“This doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.”
“This is just resistance. That means we’re on the edge of something good.”
Now… for the unfiltered version. I actually name my inner gremlins. Let’s say imposter syndrome. I call her, imposter syndrome Stacy. And it goes something like this….
“Stacy. I see what you are doing, I know you’re nervous but… WE F#%%ING GOT THISSSS YASSSSSS LETS DO IT. YOLO. LET’S F#%%ING GOOOOO! EVERYONE IS ON THEIR OWN JOURNEY AND WE ON OURS GIRRRRL. WOOOOOOOOOO!”
I don’t argue with it. I just choose to lead anyway.
🧠 Where the inner critic shows up (especially in L&D & creative work)
If you’re in learning, facilitation, or design work — this voice can show up in sneaky places:
You’re building a course and suddenly second-guess every example
You’re facilitating a session and feel like someone else would say it better
You’re presenting to leadership and shrinking your ideas to “keep it safe”
You’re rewriting the same sentence for 20 minutes because “it’s not right yet”
Here’s your reminder: you’re allowed to take up space as you are. Your lived experience is expertise. And that rough draft you’re judging? It’s the start of something good!
Try this the next time your inner critic flares up:
1. Write down what the voice is actually saying — no censoring.
("You're not ready." "People will think you're trying too hard." "This has been done before.")
2. Now imagine the badass version of you — the one who shows up in meetings with clarity, the one who trusts their process, the one who hits “publish” even when they’re scared.
3. Let the badass respond.
What would they say back to that inner critic?
What truth do they know that fear keeps forgetting?
It might sound like:
“Messy doesn’t mean wrong.”
“This version is more than enough.”
“I’ve done hard things before — I can do this one too.”
You don’t have to silence the voice — just let the real you speak louder.
🌱 You’re Not Alone in This
Every time I post something vulnerable, create something new, or step into a bigger space — that voice still tries to chime in.
But I’ve learned this:
The louder the critic, the closer I am to something that matters.
✨ Gentle Invitation
If you’ve been shrinking a little lately…
If you’ve been hearing that voice say “Not yet,” “Not good enough,” “Who are you to…” —
Maybe this is your reminder to say:
“Thanks for your concern, but we’re going anyway.”
You’ve got this.
And I’ve got you.
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Want to explore this more deeply in your work, creativity, or career shift?
Let’s work together inside Spark — this is the kind of inner and outer alignment I live for.
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